When we are small, in addition to not being tall, we are taken by force to farms or zoos to pet goats, pigs, donkeys, lambs to soften us and make us believe that they are nice. But don't be fooled by these gossip! The lambs are corpse-eating satanic rots that will kill you and rape your car's exhaust as soon as you turn your back on them.
They are real monsters who deserve the most total extermination in extreme cruelty!
And if you don't believe me, just watch the Cult of The Lamb report produced by Massive Monster and distributed by Devolver Digital...
First, we're going to make you believe that baby sheep are adorable, innocent and harmless creatures. Until the day a predator kills them. But those damn lambs... well they're resurrected because the species has made a pact with an occultly evil monster that needs the blood of victims and the sweat and blood of followers to return to Earth.
And it is there that, under their deceptively adorable features, these little pests will take out weapons and spells to kill and enlist everything that moves as heralds of this demonic divinity.
But when the Lamb does not sow death behind him, he manipulates, foments and pipeaut poor surviving followers found in the places where he has previously sown desolation.
He forces them to pray, to work, to lecture them and although he renders them a service from time to time, it is for the pure interest of material gain or fervor to increase his influence.
So certainly, the Lamb cleans from time to time the excrement and stench of disgust of his followers, but it is to maintain a sufficient level of hygiene so as not to see the innocent followers falling ill, or even dying.
For the same reason, he feeds them with things that he will pass as food, according to the chosen doctrine, even grass or the meat of a sacrificed adept.
The Lamb is far from the Angel projected by his appearance because, to increase his levels and learn new talents or skills to advance the cult, the Lamb will stop at no qualms.
Moreover, during his outings to challenge the deities antagonistic to his master, he will switch to Rogue-like mode until he breaks part of the seal of his enemy's lair.
However, one can only admire the maneuverability of the Agneau. He runs, rolls, slashes, casts spells, with the simplest ease and the most primal bestiality to the point that fun comes easily, mocking progressive difficulty.
The Lamb intrigues, terrifies the player more and more until he recruits him for his worship as the most fervent of the followers. Again and again to cultivate, pray, sacrifice, kill, build in the name of satanic worship. Gain power to take on the fiercest strata of legitimate deities and their minions.
But our Lamb will have, as in any good Rogue-like, well-placed allies to strengthen it over the course of its outings.
And you will come out again and again because every hit, every sacrifice will change you, the player. You will, without realizing it, become a full-fledged guide thirsty for the blood and tears of anyone around you. Allies as enemies, you will be taken in a frenzy of video game fun which, although imperfect, will mark your spirit forever with the stigma of the Lamb.
So get up my black sheep and come join the Leek Cult! Your sins will be washed away, your life will finally be happy and your gamer's soul will finally be fulfilled to have a title that will know how to concretize the light of your existence and will bring you joy and total plenitude.
Glory to Leek!
- Xbox (tested on Xbox Series X)
- PlayStation
- Steam
- Nintendo Switch
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